Dear [newspaper: Phoenix]:

Here’s your list of available local coffeeshops:

1. Ula Caf
2. 1369 Coffee House
3. Diesel Cafe
4. 2nd Cup Caf
5. Espresso Royale Caffe
6. True Grounds

You are missing so many cafés. 1369 isn’t even the best café in Central Square; that honor has to go to Toscanini’s. Up in Harvard Square is Café Pamplona, which possibly had the first espresso maker in Cambridge. A bit further into Harvard Square is Crema. A 10-minute walk up the street toward Porter is Simon’s.

Head the other way, into Boston. In Post Office Square you have Sip Café. Right next to North Station you have the world-class Equal Exchange Café. It’s a particularly egregious sin to leave out EECafé.

[foreign: J’accuse!] and other such condemnations. Waggy finger of disapproval and all that.